Acting Ugly, Acting Lovely


"Actin' ugly."

  • meaning:
    • being rude or disrespectful; misbehaving; anything else unkind
    • a colloquial phrase, used commonly in the South
    • in context:
      • "I saw you rollin' eyes and actin' ugly to your daddy."
      • "Were you being ugly to your sister just now?"
      • "Honey, I was acting ugly with you on the phone today. I'm sorry."
  • Why I love it:

Because it comes out of  a mindset that rudeness, disrespect, whining, etc are not attractive qualities. And therefore, we deduce that kindness, graciousness, respect, etc are attractive and beautiful. So why not call our children out on acting ugly?

But MORE SO, why not commend them for acting beautifully. When they serve, help, forgive, obey, pray, nurture, etc. If this is part of our instruction and encouragement to our daughters as we notice them loving others well, they'll develop an intuitive understanding that beauty is a thing of the heart. A proof that beauty is not superficial.

Yes, tell your daughters they are beautiful in that dress or with that hairdo or the color of their eyes or in the brave color combo they chose. Yes. Tell them. But let's equally, and more so, call them beautiful when it really counts.


"Actin' lovely." "Being beautiful."


  • meaning: being respectful, loving, servant-hearted
  • an upcoming phrase, a new beginning to train our girls
  • in context:
    • "You set the table without anyone asking. Thanks for actin' lovely!"
    • "I saw you check on your sister when she was hurting. You're so beautiful."
    • "You're acting beautiful, sugarbabes! Thank you for listening to me and responding so sweetly."

Wanna try it? Who is in?

Might this help raise girls who "get" what being beautiful really looks like? Just by us calling out beauty for what it is? 

I'm going to try being intentional about this in weeks to come and will let you know how it goes. If you try it too, please reply with how your daughters receive this!

Let's exhort our daughters for being beautiful.

love, Danita